Sugarplums and Jelly

"I know a chubby bottom and plump breasts weren't what you wanted but times have changed, coal and spankings obviously aren't getting the message across to today's troubled young men. If it makes you
 feel any better at least you aren't one of the naughty girls waking up with a beard on her chin."

Now available on DeviantArt: http://estrogenesis.deviantart.com/art/Sugarplums-and-Jelly-653250341

Dragon's Valour

What trickery is this, dragon?

You said you would spare me and grant me riches and power if I surrendered to you my beloved!

Indeed I have, would be slayer.

Yet when I peer into your heart I can see you have shared your bed with none but whores and the closest you have come to love is of your own warrior's pride. So it is your manly valour I have taken.

In exchange I have already seen to it that your king will take you as his queen.

Full Discretion

"Oh...wow. I'm not really sure what to say.
When I agreed to give you full discretion on the procedures in exchange for free plastic surgery I guess I never imagined you wanted to change pretty much everything about me."

Blessed and Cursed

"You know how the inscription near the queen's chamber said it was both blessed and cursed? Well, I was in there all day copying glyphs down and apparently it has something to do with granting fertility."

Risks and Consequences

"Don't mind him, I'm just using our appointment as an opportunity to teach my son about the risks and consequences of self-medicating with prescription steroids."

Milk Production

"We tried using growth hormones to increase milk production but stopped after we realized drinking it was causing my son to produce milk of his own."

Raging Hormones

"Yes, Mom, I know the girls on spring break are still full of raging hormones but you don't have to worry about me getting anyone pregnant or taking advantage of them while they're drunk. I promise I won't do anything you wouldn't do."

Office Morale

"Can you believe it? Jennings is such a team player he signed up for sensitivity training on his own and has already been promoted to Head of Human Resources and Office Morale!"

Juicy Tips

 "I know it's only been four months but I've already saved up enough tip money to pay back what I owed you and then some."

 "Listen hot stuff, I don't want your money any more and that's that. When I agreed to forgive your considerable debt to me you agreed to spend a full year in my club as the dancer with a little something-ah...extra. Those were the terms and they are not negotiable, so I don't want to hear any more complaints about them. If anything you should be happy you get to keep all those-ah...juicy tips."

 "But that's eight more months of female hormones! I didn't know they'd be so strong and I didn't know the string breasts implants you picked out for me would keep expanding!"

 "Those aren't my problems, sweet cheeks. This is what happens when you take out a loan you can't repay in Chinatown. I can't replace your pretty face over night and I don't have to. So don't call again unless it's to ask for more hours."

Glass Ceiling

"Well, after years of missing out on opportunities, promotions and raises due to the glass ceiling of a female dominated industry like weather forecasting, I finally decided that if you can't beat 'em, you may as well join 'em.