Raging Hormones

"Yes, Mom, I know the girls on spring break are still full of raging hormones but you don't have to worry about me getting anyone pregnant or taking advantage of them while they're drunk. I promise I won't do anything you wouldn't do."

Office Morale

"Can you believe it? Jennings is such a team player he signed up for sensitivity training on his own and has already been promoted to Head of Human Resources and Office Morale!"

Glass Ceiling

"Well, after years of missing out on opportunities, promotions and raises due to the glass ceiling of a female dominated industry like weather forecasting, I finally decided that if you can't beat 'em, you may as well join 'em.

A Boy Named Sue

"When I gave you that name I reckoned you'd have to get tough or die.
It never occurred to me that you might actually grow into it."

Swallowed Pride

"Don't get me wrong, I prefer women myself. I only got into the business because when it came time to pay back my student loans I took a long, hard look at myself and why I majored in Shakespearean Theatre. Then I swallowed my pride and decided I would make a much better adult film actress than a waiter."

Career First

"Good Evening, I'm Riley Colt and this is NewsNet Night 7. If you're wondering why I look and sound a little different tonight it's because management always wants to appeal to a younger audience and I've always put my career first."

Natural Aptitude

"Now son, I realize you have a natural aptitude for women's studies, but if this is the best job you're qualified for maybe you didn't need to spend all that money on a degree in the first place."

Choice Parts

"In this town anyone who wants to keep getting choice parts has to eventually get some work done. Even a former leading man."