Dragon's Valour

What trickery is this, dragon?

You said you would spare me and grant me riches and power if I surrendered to you my beloved!

Indeed I have, would be slayer.

Yet when I peer into your heart I can see you have shared your bed with none but whores and the closest you have come to love is of your own warrior's pride. So it is your manly valour I have taken.

In exchange I have already seen to it that your king will take you as his queen.

Full Discretion

"Oh...wow. I'm not really sure what to say.
When I agreed to give you full discretion on the procedures in exchange for free plastic surgery I guess I never imagined you wanted to change pretty much everything about me."

Blessed and Cursed

"You know how the inscription near the queen's chamber said it was both blessed and cursed? Well, I was in there all day copying glyphs down and apparently it has something to do with granting fertility."

Risks and Consequences

"Don't mind him, I'm just using our appointment as an opportunity to teach my son about the risks and consequences of self-medicating with prescription steroids."

Milk Production

"We tried using growth hormones to increase milk production but stopped after we realized drinking it was causing my son to produce milk of his own."

Raging Hormones

"Yes, Mom, I know the girls on spring break are still full of raging hormones but you don't have to worry about me getting anyone pregnant or taking advantage of them while they're drunk. I promise I won't do anything you wouldn't do."

Office Morale

"Can you believe it? Jennings is such a team player he signed up for sensitivity training on his own and has already been promoted to Head of Human Resources and Office Morale!"

Juicy Tips

 "I know it's only been four months but I've already saved up enough tip money to pay back what I owed you and then some."

 "Listen hot stuff, I don't want your money any more and that's that. When I agreed to forgive your considerable debt to me you agreed to spend a full year in my club as the dancer with a little something-ah...extra. Those were the terms and they are not negotiable, so I don't want to hear any more complaints about them. If anything you should be happy you get to keep all those-ah...juicy tips."

 "But that's eight more months of female hormones! I didn't know they'd be so strong and I didn't know the string breasts implants you picked out for me would keep expanding!"

 "Those aren't my problems, sweet cheeks. This is what happens when you take out a loan you can't repay in Chinatown. I can't replace your pretty face over night and I don't have to. So don't call again unless it's to ask for more hours."

Glass Ceiling

"Well, after years of missing out on opportunities, promotions and raises due to the glass ceiling of a female dominated industry like weather forecasting, I finally decided that if you can't beat 'em, you may as well join 'em.

A Boy Named Sue

"When I gave you that name I reckoned you'd have to get tough or die.
It never occurred to me that you might actually grow into it."

Swallowed Pride

"Don't get me wrong, I prefer women myself. I only got into the business because when it came time to pay back my student loans I took a long, hard look at myself and why I majored in Shakespearean Theatre. Then I swallowed my pride and decided I would make a much better adult film actress than a waiter."

Do Not Tailgate

Student Female
Do Not Tailgate

Soft Shell

When Staff Sergeant James Marshall had volunteered to donate his brain to a military cyborg research program codenamed 'Soft Shell' he thought he was going to wake up as RoboCop. Instead what he got was more like Cherry 2000. He felt betrayed, like he'd just taken a shot from behind.
Even worse, he knew very soon he probably would be taking one from behind.

Materialistic

"I thought it was bad enough when they changed us and probed us. I can appreciate making sacrifices for science. They could still be wise and have so much to teach us. Now it's looking more like we're mail order brides.
That's so...materialistic."

Daddy's Favorite

"I don't know why you think it's so funny neither of us turned back into a prince. If the court wizard can't figure out how to break that witch's curse then I may be a princess now but at least I'll still be Daddy's favorite heir."

Career First

"Good Evening, I'm Riley Colt and this is NewsNet Night 7. If you're wondering why I look and sound a little different tonight it's because management always wants to appeal to a younger audience and I've always put my career first."

Indecent Exposure

"Technically you did agree to those. They're a job requirement and the terms of your probation depend on accepting any work offered to you within 30 days of release. As it turns out strip clubs are the only businesses who consistently hire sex offenders with a history of indecent exposure."

Natural Aptitude

"Now son, I realize you have a natural aptitude for women's studies, but if this is the best job you're qualified for maybe you didn't need to spend all that money on a degree in the first place."

Choice Parts

"In this town anyone who wants to keep getting choice parts has to eventually get some work done. Even a former leading man."

Misinterpreted

"Now that the ceremony is over I guess I know why my hormones have changed so much these past few months, there really was something in the water. When I gave my hand to the chief on my first day here I was only trying to introduce myself as an aid worker to the tribe. I guess he misinterpreted that as a love slave."

Delusional

"So I finally find a woman who's a good match for me only to find out after we're engaged that she's completely delusional. Just because I have softer features she wants to introduce me to her friends and family as her lesbian fiancee! She even asked me to stop seeing you because she thinks you've warped my mind or something."

"When I snap my fingers I want you to forget everything during the second half of our session. As usual you will bury all self awareness of your femininity and ignore anything that contradicts your male persona. Oh, And call me if you're feeling horny."

Unwanted Advances

"I realize now how unwanted my advances were, but did you have to file a sexual harassment complaint before talking to me about it? You obviously know how severe the sensitivity training is around here from having been an instructor."

Specific Locations

"So like I told your secretary on the phone, those experimental weight loss pills have had some extreme side effects. As you can see I only lost weight in a few very specific locations and the worst part is that the areas that stayed fatty seem to be slowly gaining back all the weight I lost."

Available Positions

"Of course I'm upset! I know I'm still getting the same pay but I only agreed to take part in the gender diversity program because I was told they couldn't promote any more men due to quotas. Now I'm being told the management slots are all filled and the only available positions are all in administrative assistance! I wouldn't have agreed to any medical treatment if I knew I was going to immediately hit the glass ceiling!"