Full Discretion

"Oh...wow. I'm not really sure what to say.
When I agreed to give you full discretion on the procedures in exchange for free plastic surgery I guess I never imagined you wanted to change pretty much everything about me."

Risks and Consequences

"Don't mind him, I'm just using our appointment as an opportunity to teach my son about the risks and consequences of self-medicating with prescription steroids."

Delusional

"So I finally find a woman who's a good match for me only to find out after we're engaged that she's completely delusional. Just because I have softer features she wants to introduce me to her friends and family as her lesbian fiancee! She even asked me to stop seeing you because she thinks you've warped my mind or something."

"When I snap my fingers I want you to forget everything during the second half of our session. As usual you will bury all self awareness of your femininity and ignore anything that contradicts your male persona. Oh, And call me if you're feeling horny."

Specific Locations

"So like I told your secretary on the phone, those experimental weight loss pills have had some extreme side effects. As you can see I only lost weight in a few very specific locations and the worst part is that the areas that stayed fatty seem to be slowly gaining back all the weight I lost."

Notable Side Effects

"You have a clean bill of health and apart from these notable side effects
the follicle rejuvenation treatment has been a complete success.
Your hair is now so thick I'm actually a little jealous, Marshall."

Unrecognizable

Hormone Imbalance

By the time he called a specialist about a possible hormone imbalance Richard had more concerns than just erectile dysfunction.

Enlarged Prostate

"Doctor, since we started these injections my waist has shrunk, my hips expanded and now it appears I'm growing breasts. Are you sure this is the best way to treat an enlarged prostate?"